The story of Dinah starts with the words 34:1 “Vateyzei Dinah Bat Leah asher yaldah l’Yaakov lirot bivnot haaretz” – Now Dinah went out, the daughter of Leah, who had borne her to Jacob, to look over the daughters of the land. The coincidence of words ‘vateyzei’ and ‘lirot’ with the description of Leah coming out to meet Jacob ‘vateyzei Leah likrot Yaakov’ has been much commented on to show both Leah and Dinah in negative light, and there are also many liberal commentaries that say Dinah went out to proselyte among the Canaanite girls. Every word in this sentence is important, as well as the sequence of the words.
Dinah is the daughter of Leah, the unloved wife of Jacob, who despite her efforts and virtues did not merit to have Jacob’s unconditional, all-consuming, romantic love that he felt for Rachel. Dinah inherits the legacy of being a daughter of an unloved mother, she is a witness to Leah’s bitterness, humiliation, coming of age without a convincing proof that virtue brings the deserved reward. It is possible that she rebels out of despair, as she gets disenchanted in the value of marriage. In my purely fictional interpretation, she comes out to the daughters of Canaan, notorious for their immorality, as commented throughout Chumash, to learn the art of seduction, to overcome her mother’s weakness and conquer a man’s heart.
Through the narrow lens of a teenager’s ego she sees her mother’s chastity as being pointless, her marriage an emotional failure, and she decides to learn the trade, to acquire a skill that will give her power over man. She knows that she cannot become Rachel, the purity and beauty that one can only be born with, and she refuses to be Leah, the unloved wife, the second sort, so she becomes Dinah, the rebellious teenager who refuses to wait for love to be given to her, who believes that anything can be learned and acquired, including beauty and the art of love.
34:2 “Vayar ota Sh’hem” – and saw her Shehem – how did he see her, how can an immoral Canaanite man see a woman? Did he see her inner beauty or her fearless mind? Following the idea that she was learning from the daughters of the land, I am led to believe that Shehem saw her practicing some kind of erotic yoga with her new girlfriends, probably got a glimpse at the exposed skin, her figure in a seductive pose.
A pitiful violated girl would not be able to arouse the feeling of attachment and longing in a pagan prince, who most likely did not suffer from the lack of female company. 34:3“V tidbak nafsho b’Dinah” – attached was his soul to Dinah. 34:8 “hashkah nafsho b’vithem” – his soul longs for your daughter (says Hamor to Jacob).
A man like Shehem would not become attached to her inner beauty and shining personality, but was seduced by her acquired skill in the art of love making.
From the common sense and modern, western point of view Dinah succeeds. She won the heart of the prince, who becomes lovesick for her and agrees to any conditions in order to marry her. She becomes the live-in girlfriend of the prince, who is actually nice to her - 34:3 “Vayidaber al lev ha-naara” – and he spoke to her heart, spoke tenderly. Did not we just recently witness the wedding of a prince to his girlfriend of several years, a very respectable affair, where no one was making fuss over a violated virtue?
From the point of view of a common sense practicality, Dinah would have been happily married to royalty if not for her uncivilized unreasonable family. The prince has even agreed to convert to Judaism, to perform all the mitzvoth, starting with the painful ritual of circumcision, so what is missing, why is the minor indiscretion before marriage so important to this family?
What’s missing in the eager willingness of the prince is the holiness, the idea that every physical act has to be sanctified and elevated to include a spiritual component. Just as every bite of food has to be blessed, the erotic desire has to transcend the immediate physical need to serve the higher purpose. By taking Dinah before asking for her hand in marriage Shehem demonstrated the uncontrolled drive for instant gratification, that characterized the descendents of Esau and was unacceptable to the family of Jacob.
The man has physical desire as an obstacle to holiness, and the woman has ego. The ego, lower nature, yetzer hara, reptilian gut brain, wants power, control, it is wired for survival in the lower world. The female ego yearns to be seen, acknowledged, desired, as this gives her power over a man in a world where she feels powerless. The ego stands in conflict with the soul, that does not need to struggle but receives her nourishment from God. The soul survives through closeness to God, through the person’s awareness of being in the presence of God, through holiness.
In the jealous struggle to overcome her mother’s limitations, to vindicate her humiliation of being unloved, Dinah’s ego wins the game of acquiring the heart of a man at the expense of her soul, which is cut off from its source as she becomes attached to the pagan man and to the life devoid of holiness.
Is there any possibility for Dinah to come back, to reclaim her soul? Can she receive the light overflowing through another human being, remove the blocking shadow of desire to seduce, to acquire, to control? Can the ego be reduced to the extent to be happy and grateful with what one is given? I believe the answer is given in Deutoronomy: “You shall love Hashem, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might”, but there is a long way to grow for a human being to fully accept this answer and the ego will put up a serious fight.
In the prophesy of Eijah one has to pass through the wind, earthquake and a fire, … and after the fire, a still small voice (1 Kings 19:11,12). The path through the fire is painful, torturous. However we have to believe in the possibility of return – teshuva, enlightenment - for the life to have meaning. The prophecy of Isayah that we read on Tisha B’Av, comparing Jerusalem to a woman, says “Speak tenderly to Jerusalem Jerusalem
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