Va’eira - Miriam's birthday

I wanted to say this D’var Torah at shul in honor of Miriam’s birthday, but somehow missed the opportunity, however the ideas for that speech remained in my mind eager to shine into the world. 

Eighteen is a special age, when you cannot in all honesty call the person a child, when you realize that this baby girl or boy has actually grown up, and it brings a tinge of sadness, as we say good buy to the idea of the child as a cute cuddly baby and get used to the thought of the physical separation.  On the other hand growth also brings appreciation of this new person endowed with intelligence and kindness, someone you can actually talk to, someone who cares and thinks of you, knows your tastes, considers your opinion, knows how to make you laugh, an educated person that you can learn from, and that’s the most precious gift in exchange for the waning glow of our youth – children who become our friends and teachers. 

In this week’s Torah portion Va’eira before the description of the plagues that God sent to Egypt there is a profound mussar statement:  Exodus 6:9 Moses .. spoke to the children of Israel, but they did not listen to Moses, V’lo sham’u el Moshe,  because of shortness of breath / spirit mikotzer ruach and work that was hard umeiavodah kasha. 

It is obvious why someone tired from the hard work would not care to listen to the prophet.  But what does it mean mikotzer ruach – shortness of spirit, short-term vision, anxiety about the task at hand, obsession about getting the job done perfectly.  As a parent, how many times did this happen that Miriam would try to tell me something and I’d be busy with the project at work when a presentation is due the next day, or in the middle of cooking dinner and Dad is coming home in a few minutes, etc... Sometimes it feels like even if Moshe Rabeinu himself would tell me to drop everything and follow to the land of Canaan I’d probably say “wait, there is this project that I have to finish for Pharaoh and the dinner has to be taken care of…” 

However our best experiences happened when we did listen to Miriam and followed her lead, either coming to Minchah / Maariv Shabbat services and the class on Shir HaShirim in summer, or spending Hanukkah in Jerusalem close to the old city and another Shabbat in Tzfat, things that appeared not very practical for everyday physical survival but turned out absolutely essential for the soul and affected the physical realm in the most profound way.  It turned out that when the soul is nourished and survival instinct is dropped, however temporarily, there is much less need for food, with the unexpected result of much improved health, a by-product of spiritual growth.

Besides wishing Miriam happy birthday I’d like to congratulate her on being accepted to Tiferet and Machon Maayan, both excellent schools that we visited during our trip to Israel.  We are very proud of the choices Miriam made and the path she has taken.  We are also immensely humbled by her devotion and commitment to Torah and mitzvoth.  Part of the growing experience during the trip was the realization that not everyone in the extended family shares Miriam’s values and no matter how righteous is her choice, her way of life, not everyone approves of it. This was an important part of her growing up, the awareness that she cannot please everyone and has to stay on her path following her inner voice, disregarding the opinion of other, much older respectable people.

Miriam, if there is one common mission that your Dad and I can name, that would be to support you in all your endeavors on the path that you have chosen.  We feel privileged to be your parents, we’ll always love and support you – happy birthday!