Chapter 25 of I Samuel drew my attention as an incredible
piece of advice on how to deal with men. As a disclaimer, the tongue-in-cheek
commentary only masks my awe and admiration of the great personalities in the
book.
How to give an advice:
Bring
food:So
Abigail hurried and took two hundred breads, two containers of wine, five
cooked sheep, five measures of toasted grain, a hundred raisin-clusters and two
hundred cakes of pressed figs, and she put them on the donkeys.
Show
respect: When
Abigail saw David, she hurried, and dismounted from the donkey, and fell on her
face before David, and prostrated herself to the ground.
What kind of advice to
give:
Choose
life:
May my lord’s
soul be bound up in the bond of life, with Hashem, your G-d,
Stay righteous: And may it be that when Hashem performs for my lord all
the beneficence of which He has spoken regarding you, and appoints you as
leader over Israel
When not to talk to a
man:
Don’t talk to a drunk: Nabal’s heart was pleased about himself and
he was very drunk, so she did not tell him anything minor or major until the
morning’s light.
What to do when a
great king asks for your hand:
Show respect: She arose and prostrated herself to the ground and
said:“Your maidservant is merely a handmaid to wash the feet of the servants of
my lord.”
Don’t hesitate: Abigail then hurried, arose
and mounted the donkey, with her five maids traveling with her, and she
followed David’s messengers and became his wife.
Samuel 1, chapter 25
In the past David and his people helped Nabal’s shepherds, guarding them from bandits and every possible danger. Now David sent his men to ask Nabal for support, whatever the rich man can spare. Nabal scornfully refused, saying: "Who is David and who is the son of Jesse?" Not accidentally this echoes Pharaoh’s reply to Moshe and Aaron in Exodus 5:2 “Who is Hashem that I should heed his voice to send outIsrael
David rose his men to kill everyone in Nabal’s household and take away all his property. One of the shepherds told this to Abigail.
So Abigail hurried and took two hundred breads, two containers of wine, five cooked sheep, five measures of toasted grain, a hundred raisin-clusters and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and she put them on the donkeys.
Abigail took all provisions and went out to meet David and his men.
When Abigail saw David, she hurried, and dismounted from the donkey, and fell on her face before David, and prostrated herself to the ground.
That’s an interesting position on how to give an advice to a man so that he’ll listen to a woman.
She fell at his feet and said: “With me myself, my lord, lies the sin. Let your maidservant please speak in your ears, and hear the words of your maidservant. Let my lord not set his heart against this base man, against Nabal, and I, your maidservant, did not see my lord’s attendants whom you sent.
Abigail was the first feminist, as she took full responsibility for her husband’s foolish actions, that put everyone in mortal danger, and for his lack of development.
Now, my lord, as Hashem lives, and by your life, as Hashem has prevented you from coming to bloodshed and from your own hand avenging you, may all your enemies and all those who wish evil upon my lord be like Nabal!
She tells him that G-d himself kept his hands from bloodshed, to keep him clean from innocent blood and his heart free from vengeance.
And now, this homage that your maidservant has brought to my lord – let it be given to the attendants who are traveling with my lord.
Abigail was too modest, or too much in awe of David, to even offer him the food directly.
Please forgive the sin of your maidservant, for Hashem shall certainly make for my lord an enduring house /bait neeman/, for my lord fights the wars of Hashem; and no blame has been found in you in your days.
That was a great combination of prophesy and a blessing, delivered in a spirit of humility. And what is the enduring house - bait neeman - thekingdom of David , his dynasty, or the Holy Temple
A man has risen up to pursue you and to seek your life
She calls Saul a man, not the king (Radak, Artscroll). And here is a great blessing of choosing life, for the warrior who walks on the edge between life and death:
May my lord’s soul be bound up in the bond of life, with Hashem, your G-d,
and may He hurl away the soul of your enemies, as one shoots a stone from a slingshot.
The last phrase is the allusion to David’s famous feat as a very young man, when he killed the Philistine giant Goliath with one stone hurled from a slingshot, that he carried as a shepherd, to guard sheep against predators.
And may it be that when Hashem performs for my lord all the beneficence of which He has spoken regarding you, and appoints you as leader over Israel, that this will not be for you a stumbling block and a moral hindrance for my lord, to have shed innocent blood for my lord to have avenged himself!
This is the kind of advice coming from a wise soul, an advice for the king to remain righteous. That whole speech pronounced while prostrated on the ground at his feet, with a whole caravan of provisions brought as a tribute, was to remove the stumbling block and a moral hindrance from his path!
And may Hashem act beneficently toward my lord, and may you then remember your maidservant.
Only in the very last sentence after the blessing she asks for herself, and sages interpret this line as a subtle suggestion of marriage, should Nabal die (Megillah 14b, Artscroll).
David accepted Abigail’s advice, as well as her tribute of bread, wine, sheep, grain, raisins and fig cakes. “Blessed is Hashem, God ofIsrael
A real man would accept an advice of peace.
Abigail came to Nabal and he was having a feast fit for a king. Nabal’s heart was pleased about himself and he was very drunk, so she did not tell him anything minor or major until the morning’s light. And it was in the morning, when Nabal had become sober, his wife told him of these matters, his heart died within him and he was stunned.
This chapter is an instruction manual on how to deal with men! Don’t talk to the drunk of anything minor or major until he is sober, and when you do talk to the truly worthless, speak to kill. Apparently Nabal got a stroke after a chat with his lovely wife, mortally wounded by her sharp words. Another possibility is that his response to Abigail was so cynical, base, outrageously dirty and hurtful, that Hashem struck him for his evil words.
Nabal died in ten days after the stroke. When David heard it he said: Blessed is Hashem, Who has taken up the cause of my disgrace from the hand of Nabal, and has prevented His servant from wrongdoing; and Hashem has returned Nabal’s evil upon his head.” He then sent messengers to take Abigail for himself as a wife.
David saw the divine justice in what happened to Nabal, as he heard divine spirit in Abigail’s words. Her righteousness and wisdom, combined with her wealth and beauty, made her desirable in his eyes. Interestingly, the wording is not to ask her to be his wife, but to take her as a wife – not clear whether her answer was obvious to him, based on her prior request to remember her, or a woman’s answer was unnecessary for the solder and future king. Abigail’s response to David’s servants suggests the first option:
She arose and prostrated herself to the ground and said: “Your maidservant is merely a handmaid to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.”
Abigail then hurried, arose and mounted the donkey, with her five maids traveling with her, and she followed David’s messengers and became his wife.
David also married Ahinoam of Jezreel, and both of them were his wives.
Saul has given his daughter Michal, David’s wife, to Pati son of Laish of Gallim.
Who was Ahinoam of Jezreel, why did David marry her in addition, or at the same time as Abigail – we don’t know, but in the subsequent chapters her name is always mentioned next to the name of Abigail, like her twin, or her shadow. It is a mystery, as well as the mystery of why Abigail married Nabal in the first place– was it part of her destiny to come out and meet David? Was Saul halachically allowed to marry off Michal to another man? Did he assume that since David was on a run he was as good as dead, and since Michal stayed in his house she belonged to her father, like an object? Or did David leave her a get, bill of divorce, knowing that he was undertaking a dangerous journey? The chapter ends with more questions than answers.
Samuel 1, chapter 25
There was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel
In the past David and his people helped Nabal’s shepherds, guarding them from bandits and every possible danger. Now David sent his men to ask Nabal for support, whatever the rich man can spare. Nabal scornfully refused, saying: "Who is David and who is the son of Jesse?" Not accidentally this echoes Pharaoh’s reply to Moshe and Aaron in Exodus 5:2 “Who is Hashem that I should heed his voice to send out
David rose his men to kill everyone in Nabal’s household and take away all his property. One of the shepherds told this to Abigail.
So Abigail hurried and took two hundred breads, two containers of wine, five cooked sheep, five measures of toasted grain, a hundred raisin-clusters and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and she put them on the donkeys.
Abigail took all provisions and went out to meet David and his men.
When Abigail saw David, she hurried, and dismounted from the donkey, and fell on her face before David, and prostrated herself to the ground.
That’s an interesting position on how to give an advice to a man so that he’ll listen to a woman.
She fell at his feet and said: “With me myself, my lord, lies the sin. Let your maidservant please speak in your ears, and hear the words of your maidservant. Let my lord not set his heart against this base man, against Nabal, and I, your maidservant, did not see my lord’s attendants whom you sent.
Abigail was the first feminist, as she took full responsibility for her husband’s foolish actions, that put everyone in mortal danger, and for his lack of development.
Now, my lord, as Hashem lives, and by your life, as Hashem has prevented you from coming to bloodshed and from your own hand avenging you, may all your enemies and all those who wish evil upon my lord be like Nabal!
She tells him that G-d himself kept his hands from bloodshed, to keep him clean from innocent blood and his heart free from vengeance.
And now, this homage that your maidservant has brought to my lord – let it be given to the attendants who are traveling with my lord.
Abigail was too modest, or too much in awe of David, to even offer him the food directly.
Please forgive the sin of your maidservant, for Hashem shall certainly make for my lord an enduring house /bait neeman/, for my lord fights the wars of Hashem; and no blame has been found in you in your days.
That was a great combination of prophesy and a blessing, delivered in a spirit of humility. And what is the enduring house - bait neeman - the
A man has risen up to pursue you and to seek your life
She calls Saul a man, not the king (Radak, Artscroll). And here is a great blessing of choosing life, for the warrior who walks on the edge between life and death:
May my lord’s soul be bound up in the bond of life, with Hashem, your G-d,
and may He hurl away the soul of your enemies, as one shoots a stone from a slingshot.
The last phrase is the allusion to David’s famous feat as a very young man, when he killed the Philistine giant Goliath with one stone hurled from a slingshot, that he carried as a shepherd, to guard sheep against predators.
And may it be that when Hashem performs for my lord all the beneficence of which He has spoken regarding you, and appoints you as leader over Israel, that this will not be for you a stumbling block and a moral hindrance for my lord, to have shed innocent blood for my lord to have avenged himself!
This is the kind of advice coming from a wise soul, an advice for the king to remain righteous. That whole speech pronounced while prostrated on the ground at his feet, with a whole caravan of provisions brought as a tribute, was to remove the stumbling block and a moral hindrance from his path!
And may Hashem act beneficently toward my lord, and may you then remember your maidservant.
Only in the very last sentence after the blessing she asks for herself, and sages interpret this line as a subtle suggestion of marriage, should Nabal die (Megillah 14b, Artscroll).
David accepted Abigail’s advice, as well as her tribute of bread, wine, sheep, grain, raisins and fig cakes. “Blessed is Hashem, God of
A real man would accept an advice of peace.
Abigail came to Nabal and he was having a feast fit for a king. Nabal’s heart was pleased about himself and he was very drunk, so she did not tell him anything minor or major until the morning’s light. And it was in the morning, when Nabal had become sober, his wife told him of these matters, his heart died within him and he was stunned.
This chapter is an instruction manual on how to deal with men! Don’t talk to the drunk of anything minor or major until he is sober, and when you do talk to the truly worthless, speak to kill. Apparently Nabal got a stroke after a chat with his lovely wife, mortally wounded by her sharp words. Another possibility is that his response to Abigail was so cynical, base, outrageously dirty and hurtful, that Hashem struck him for his evil words.
Nabal died in ten days after the stroke. When David heard it he said: Blessed is Hashem, Who has taken up the cause of my disgrace from the hand of Nabal, and has prevented His servant from wrongdoing; and Hashem has returned Nabal’s evil upon his head.” He then sent messengers to take Abigail for himself as a wife.
David saw the divine justice in what happened to Nabal, as he heard divine spirit in Abigail’s words. Her righteousness and wisdom, combined with her wealth and beauty, made her desirable in his eyes. Interestingly, the wording is not to ask her to be his wife, but to take her as a wife – not clear whether her answer was obvious to him, based on her prior request to remember her, or a woman’s answer was unnecessary for the solder and future king. Abigail’s response to David’s servants suggests the first option:
She arose and prostrated herself to the ground and said: “Your maidservant is merely a handmaid to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.”
Abigail then hurried, arose and mounted the donkey, with her five maids traveling with her, and she followed David’s messengers and became his wife.
David also married Ahinoam of Jezreel, and both of them were his wives.
Saul has given his daughter Michal, David’s wife, to Pati son of Laish of Gallim.
Who was Ahinoam of Jezreel, why did David marry her in addition, or at the same time as Abigail – we don’t know, but in the subsequent chapters her name is always mentioned next to the name of Abigail, like her twin, or her shadow. It is a mystery, as well as the mystery of why Abigail married Nabal in the first place– was it part of her destiny to come out and meet David? Was Saul halachically allowed to marry off Michal to another man? Did he assume that since David was on a run he was as good as dead, and since Michal stayed in his house she belonged to her father, like an object? Or did David leave her a get, bill of divorce, knowing that he was undertaking a dangerous journey? The chapter ends with more questions than answers.
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