If I Forget You Jerusalem

How does it happen that after an intense spiritual experience people fall? 

I thought about this when reading parsha Noach:

Bereishis 9:1 And God blessed Noah and his sons, and He said to them: "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth… 9:13 My rainbow I have placed in the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of a covenant between Myself and the earth… 9:21 And he drank of the wine and became drunk, and he uncovered himself within his tent.

Right after an awesome encounter with G-d, after the blessing and the sign of the great covenant Noach debases himself and gets drunk.  Fast forward to Mount Sinai, the greatest spiritual experience ever recorded in the history of mankind, when people see and hear the great revelation, all blessings are given to Am Yisrael, we are called to be the chosen people, Am Segula – and forty days later people build golden calf and completely annihilate themselves in spiritual sense. 

Second book of Samuel, chapter 7 – God tells David to build the temple for his permanent dwelling among the people of Israel, He promises him everlasting peace. 

II Samuel 7:9 And I have been with you wherever you have gone, and I have cut off all your enemies from before you, and have made for you a great name, like the name of the great ones that are in the earth. 7:16 And your house and your kingdom shall be confirmed forever before you; your throne shall be established forever."

What happens next is one of the most tragic love stories of all times – affair with Bat Sheva and ultimate fall from grace. 

II Samuel 11:2 And it came to pass, at the time of evening, that David arose from his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king's house, and he saw a woman bathing, from the roof; and the woman was very beautiful.

How does this happen that a person comes to the height of spiritual experience and then falls?  Are the great leaders that fragile? Is it that a person seeking God has to be so vulnerable, so emotional, that his soul is open to all winds?  Does a great spiritual experience strengthen or weaken a person?  What makes a difference, that a great patriarch such as Abraham withstands all tests, that Joshua remains true and faithful after witnessing incredible miracles, while other great personalities falter? 

Rav Moshe said that the problem with the spiritual experience, the awareness of divine presence, sensing the Shehinah, is that it is temporary.  The Shabbos, the holidays, the miracles and revelation, are temporary experiences followed by return to the physical world, to the ordinary life.  The problem is not with experience, but with the return from it, the separation.  A person becomes addicted to the intensity of the spirit and return to normal brings the symptoms of withdrawal, when he longs and yearns to come back to God, to the experience of divine presence, of ruach hakodesh.  This withdrawal could be so painful that a weaker human would try to numb the pain by intoxication, fill the void with sensual pleasures, worship idols to get an alternative, “new age”, “shamanic”, spiritual experiences when God, or the prophet, or teacher, seems to be far away.   

Is it better not to know God?  Is it better to forget and enjoy life in this world, to just live a virtuous life, to just be a good person? Is it better to forget freedom and enjoy the relative comfort of the prison cell? 
 

Psalms 137:5 im ishkacheh Yirushalayim...
If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning. 

 

Is it better for a kidnapped child to forget his real family and learn to love his captivity?  This is what many of our parents and grandparents did in the Soviet Union, allowing themselves to be brainwashed and committing to the alien teaching, where the love of God was branded as a crime of treason, treated as insanity.  
 

Jeremiah 2:5 Thus says Hashem: What wrong did your forefathers find in Me, that they distanced themselves from Me and pursued futility, and became futile?

We are not allowed to forget. We are obligated to seek God, to love God with all our heart, all our soul, all our might.  We are not allowed to close our hearts, we must love God, even though it feels painful and appears ridiculous to others, even when we feel abandoned and isolated, when the void in the heart becomes unbearable and exile is palpable and feels like the only valid reality. 

I believe the way to overcome that feeling of void, withdrawal, sense of exile is hinted at in the same Torah portion that has the episode of the golden calf – Ki Tisa. 

Exodus 31:2 "See, I have called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, 31:3 and I have imbued him with the spirit of God, with wisdom, with insight, with knowledge, and with [talent for] all manner of craftsmanship”

After the great revelation on Mount Sinai, God teaches Moshe the elaborate rules on how to make the Tabernacle where His presence will dwell on earth, and how to bring animal sacrifices, and what clothes should be worn by the great priest, and all of these rules require the involvement of an artist, the designer imbued with the divine spirit, wisdom, knowledge, and talent for all kind of crafts – and this is the key to overcoming the pain of longing, to endure the exile – creative labour.  The character of Bezalel is the key to overcoming the urge to worship idols. 

If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.  Our talents are useless when not in the service of God.  Cultivating and using the talent enables us to endure the exile, the separation from the divine presence.  On the other hand our efforts are futile when we forget our purpose, our calling, our true home. 


Ki Tisa, the same Torah portion that talks about Bezalel, where God commands Moshe to build the Mishkan, the Tabernacle, and explains in elaborate details how to do it, also expands the commandment to keep Shabbat.  Exodus 31:13 And you, speak to the children of Israel and say: 'Only keep My Sabbaths! For it is a sign between Me and you for your generations, to know that I, the Lord, make you holy. Shabbat is a pause in the rhythm of work, a break from ordinary existense, a day of meditation and rememberance.

Jeremiah 2:2 I remember the kindness of your youth, the love of your marriage, your following Me in the desert, in a land not sown.

If we forget God there is no hope of return.  If we remember and endure the pain of longing, and seek Him with all our heart and soul, He will remember us and will fetch us from the farthest end of the world, and return us to the place of His presence.   

Deuteronomy 4:29 From there you will seek Hashem, your God, and you will find Him, if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul. 30:4 If your dispersed will be at the ends of heaven, from there Hashem, your God, will gather you in, and from there He will take you.